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love through time
December 23, 2011
Summary:
belle roger the same characters thorugh out three diffrent time periods love never changes.
Bailey D.
love through time
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This book has 3 comments.
SarasotaWonder BRONZE said...
on Jan. 14 2012 at 4:37 pm
Hey, great job with this! I really enjoyed the plot line and the dillemas, and thought you really excelled at portraying the historical aspect of this. There were just a few things I would work on: 1)Pa vs. Father and Ma. vs. Mother....which one does the main character use? You will want to keep it consistent. 2)Also, it read a tad like an article or journal in a newpaper....try adding more emotion and some more description. This will lengthen it out as well as add more intensity to the novel. 3) You did better with this towards the end, but add more dialouge in the begining. It will let the reader know more about the main character, as well as draw out the rather long plot. Overal, great work! I hope my comment helped :)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 13 2012 at 6:18 pm
Wow I love this!(: great!
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Favorite Quote:
Oh god I was a stupid twelve year old