I wish someone had told me how to be myself, not just to be myself, the how part. 

As kids with little to no inferiority feelings or large amounts of self-realization, we lived how we wanted (of course, unless our parents said “no”). My days were made up of swirling questions and curiosities; I'd run around chasing butterflies and watching little ants coming in out of their little burrows. As I got a little older, I became consumed in books and crafts. I would make doll clothes, little contraptions and create beautiful little cardboard homes for my tree frogs and salamanders. I poured myself over hundreds of books wondering, what my story will be?

I think everything went wrong when I asked that question. I became so lost in finding that answer that I lost myself. All the stars above our big wide world couldn't tell me. The towering pine trees that I found to be my favorite wouldn't share their wisdom. The little monarch butterfly caterpillars I take care of in the summers couldn't show me.

 I turned to music; it helped pave the way for my realizations. Coldplay showed me hope and happiness, Chris's words filled up my mind and eased the chaos. They helped me out of the darkness when the flames of my own self-destruction licked at  my mind and soul. Jack Johnson, John Mayer, U2, and Tom Petty showed me simplicity, love, and kindness. Katy Perry and Hey Violet showed me confidence and self-worth. I wouldn't change the way I learned these lessons for the world.

I have more adventures to live down, thrills to feel and people to meet than I know. I heard something a little while ago that the best way to work on yourself is to be the person you long for as a child. Now, my only life quest is to be someone I would have looked up to as a child. I think the wild-eyed, scraped kneed, curious girl I once was would be proud of who I am today. That makes me feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at this crazy life thing.