There are times where you see your friend wear something HORRIFIC and you are just temped to say something but you don’t want to sound like a d-bag. Or when your family member gets a new hair cut and it just makes you cringe just looking at it but you have to bite down your tongue. Well I am here to say that you can still say those slap in the face comments WITHOUT getting slapped in the face! Some things may seem to best unsaid but whoever told you that is just lying to your face and is probably holding back a rude comment too. You can get away with saying a rude comment by just beginning with the phrase “I don’t mean to be rude or anything but…”

This phrase began back in my childhood where I had less of a filter. I was a bit more sly with getting away with things by my innocent, cuteness. I was always also a picky eater. So one day at dinner we were eating broccoli and meat loaf, I didn’t care for either of them at the time. I just came out with saying “I don’t mean to be rude or anything but this dinner kind of STINKS.” My family didn’t know how to react to it but they were amused by my beginning phrase “I don’t mean to be rude or anything but…” They found it funny and to this day they would always say that to me. But it’s okay because I got away with my rude comment! When you begin this phrase, people will be amused and find it funny; they wouldn’t even pay attention to your rude comment . It keeps you out of trouble and it gives you the freedom of speak your mind. YAY FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

You can get out of many different situations with the use of this phrase. Situations when:
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Your boyfriend/girlfriend try on something and they ask if they look like a FATTY in it.
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Your great aunt ordering SMELLY polish food from a DIRTY, UNSANITARY restaurant
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When your brother, dressed like a hobo, comes home talking about how great his life is not going to college but secretly he’s broke and lives in a box.
You can call me names all you want for saying all these horrible things but we’ve all had these thoughts in our heads before but we never had the guts to say it! I’m here for you to speak your mind and getting away with it! You’re welcome! Anyways, to flat out say what you really want say is:
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“Hey babe, does this dress make me look fat?”
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“I don’t mean to be rude or anything but you do look FAT in that outfit.”
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“Tonight we’re ordering polish food from the polish people!”
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“I don’t mean to be rude or anything Aunt Gracie but this food is just god awful.”
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“Hey so I just got a raise today from working at McDonalds today!”
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“I don’t mean to be rude or anything but you screwed up your future because you didn’t go to college.”
Saying this phrase will make you look more polite and respectful; but at the same time you will be speaking your rude mind. It’s a win, win! The person isn’t offended and you don’t get a slap in the face! Everybody is happy!

Now that I’ve taught you how to say something rude without sounding rude, you can go now into the world and speak whatever is on your mind about whatever. Just remember to always begin with “I don’t mean to be rude or anything but…” otherwise you’re just going to make a jerk out of yourself. (WARNING: Someone might be smart enough to see that you really mean what you say after saying the phrase and slap you in the face.)