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Easy-to-Make Miserable Afternoon
Ingredients:
Two hour night of sleep
A sprinkle of neighbor’s new-born baby crying
A bin of mom questioning you about the future
Pocketful of canceled plans
Beaker of a rainy day
A portion of long lines at Chipotle
A flurry of dog barking
Directions:
This recipe is best prepared after a two hour night of sleep
Start by waking up in the morning to the sound of the neighbor’s new-born baby crying. Only a sprinkle is needed. (Best results if combined with a knot in the back from a hard as rock mattress)
Heat a bin of your mother asking you about your future plans over the stove for 30 minutes.
In a separate bowl, combine a pocketful of canceled plans and a beaker of a rainy day. Stir until thoroughly mixed.
In a large pot of water, add a portion of long lines at Chipotle and a flurry of the dog barking. (The longer the dog barking has matured, the better)
Once the nagging mother has been melted, the canceled plans and the crappy weather has been concocted, and the long lines at Chipotle with the matured dog barking has been dissolved, mixed all ingredients in a 9x9 non-stick metal pan and set in the oven for 4 hours at 32?.
Best served as lunch, with a side of lukewarm water and stale potato chips.
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An uncommon recipe