That girl. | Teen Ink

That girl.

August 10, 2012
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople GOLD, Kalamazoo, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why I am here, I know not; where I shall go, it is useless to enquire. In the midst of myriads of the living and the dead worlds, stars, and infinity why should I be anxious of an atom?
-Lord Byron


That girl next to you,
Right next to you,
Right next to you,
On that sky high sea cliff
On that mountain side and the end of the world
Of earth and terre did not jump.

She didn’t because of the fires burning around her,
Because of the people who sat in silence staring out at, at creation
All symbolizing that life was worthwhile

That girl next to you
Right next to you
Right next to you,
Did not jump off the cliff of life and into creation and reflection,
Into a thousand stabbing knives

That girl next to you,
Right next to you,
Right next to you
On that cliff, that slide of rocks, of fog and love indistinguishable
On that mountainside against the horizon of life,
Did jump

Did jump, she did
Because of the fires surrounding her, burning, burning evermore
Because of the people who sat in silence staring out at, at creation
All symbolizing,
The lies that life was worthwhile

That life in all its entity and shortness is meant to be lived,
That although we die eventually and where is the purpose in not dying now,
We live anyway for the streaks,
For the blots and splotches against the canvas
For the memories,
The sorrow and hardship
The valleys and peaks
For the sensation,
For the vibrating color,
For the chills tingling down our spines and creating goose bumps

For the epiphanies we realize everywhere,
Nowhere and always,
Next to you, Right next to you,
Right next to you.


The author's comments:
Finnisterre, Northern Galicia, Espana

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This article has 6 comments.


on Sep. 23 2012 at 10:30 am
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople GOLD, Kalamazoo, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why I am here, I know not; where I shall go, it is useless to enquire. In the midst of myriads of the living and the dead worlds, stars, and infinity why should I be anxious of an atom?
-Lord Byron

i need to get on this editing:)

on Sep. 22 2012 at 7:00 pm
Ms.PeytonLovesHP GOLD, Rancho Cordova, California
18 articles 0 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” - Doctor Seuss

On agree on the non appealing way of the repetition of that oine line, but other than that, i love your poem and have no furtyher crittisism. It's quite awesome. :)  

on Aug. 18 2012 at 10:16 pm
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople GOLD, Kalamazoo, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why I am here, I know not; where I shall go, it is useless to enquire. In the midst of myriads of the living and the dead worlds, stars, and infinity why should I be anxious of an atom?
-Lord Byron

Thanks so much for the critisism and everything!:) its helpful. Yeah i can see how it would get redundant i did it mostly to be a ballad. But i might change it just so its not repeated twice each time. Thanks:)

on Aug. 13 2012 at 7:35 pm
chamomile SILVER, Shrewsbury, Massachusetts
8 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
She makes it through her day, but doesn't just “make it” through her day. She holds within her at all time the faith that she belongs, even when she doesn't belong. She belongs to the world; she belongs in her life; her heart and mind and soul belong

I love the juxtaposition you made between choosing life or death, and both 'characters' seeing the same thing differently. The language you chose was just amazing. I am not a fan of the way you repeated "right next to you", I would make one of them slightly different but still convey the same message, like 'that girl next to you, directly beside you" so it's not so redundant. That being said, this is a matter of artistic license, so do what you feel is right

on Aug. 12 2012 at 1:22 am
liveamongthestarsdieamongthepeople GOLD, Kalamazoo, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why I am here, I know not; where I shall go, it is useless to enquire. In the midst of myriads of the living and the dead worlds, stars, and infinity why should I be anxious of an atom?
-Lord Byron

thanks,i'd love any comments on how it could be better or thoughts. thats sweet:)

on Aug. 12 2012 at 12:00 am
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This is a very interesting and thoughtful poem, you're a great writer :)