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I didn’t want to leave, really,
I didn’t. I had to. I didn’t get to,
Have a voice whether I went or not.
Never got to say my opinion. All I can think,
Of is your voices screaming to me,
Not to leave. We all still talk. Only a little though.
Right now I think that I should be there with you all.
I feel everyone’s presence in my heart,
Fade away, slowly, painfully.
“Please don’t leave me,” I beg the memories.
They’re all I have left. I think of everyone’s hugs,
Their tears, their voices. And I start to cry.
If I don’t have those memories, I have nothing.
We don’t talk much anymore. Once I left,
We talked. A lot. Every day, all day. Now,
I send a text, and usually don’t get a reply.
Now I try to call you, but you usually,
Don’t answer me. And every time,
You text me or call me, I don’t,
Get the excitement anymore.
I don’t text you back quickly,
Or ask how people are or,
Have you tell me every single second,
Of your day. I don’t care who’s with who and,
Who still cries. Now I start to cry, thinking of how,
Great our friendship’s were, and now it’s,
Gone. I want it back. I want it here. I want it now.
I remember my dates hand, your hug, her words.
His advice, their tears, their cries. But mostly,
I think of everyone crying and screaming to me,
“Don’t leave me!” while I walk across the parking lot,
My eyes closed, hoping I get hit by a car so I don’t,
Have to leave, just quite yet. I remember,
Looking back at my house, before I left my town,
Forever. I remember the sign passing by,
“Holden Limits” and I beg to not leave,
Knowing it’s too late. I get here and I go,
Up to my new room and I looked around,
And yet, surrounded by all the boxes,
It felt empty of friends and empty of happiness.
I started to cry and fell to my knees,
Staying there all night, thinking of my friends.
And as I text you right now and say,
“Goodbye,” and you make a sad face,
For some reason, all I can think about,
Is my last night with all of you.