My heart was beating in death,
I was fooling myself, living for my desires,
Wasting my breath,
Congregating among the liars,
The depths of who I was tainted with the junk of the world,
Having to hide my secrets in a trunk,
Indwelling sin screaming to be seen,
But it wasn`t the prisoner,
In my freedom from God`s service I was a slave to sin,
Amongst the congregatation I was but a listener,
The enemy of my soul watched with a grin,
The ruler of this fallen world had me under his service,
All the good things I did amounting to vapor,
Dirty rags, cleaning emptiness,
The enemy my author, writing out my destruction on paper,
So what`s up? Was God not in control?
May it never be!
The Holy Spirit descended in a rushing wind,
Baptizing me into Christ`s salvation,
Discernment making my perception bend,
All the lies I lived with collapsing into themselves,
A tower of truth coming to dwell in me,
The influences of the world scorched in the Lord`s purifying fire,
Demons fleeing as I prayed down on one knee,
Surrender stronger than a conquering army,
The enemy`s cry of retreat fading into the bottomless pit,
Sanctification equipping me for battle,
Every moment I was deployed for combat,
Casualties mounting at every step,
But the wicked flee when no pursues,
And the righteous are bold as a lion,
Charging into the harvest,
The saint`s cries striking defeat in the fallen stars,
But the clever serpent had scoped me out, striking me with indwelling sin,
What a wretched man I am,
A soldier on the brink of AWOL,
But my King never forsaked me,
He walked with me through the valley of death,
Never leaving me behind,
Through Christ I was more than a conqueror,
A war won, a war being won, a war that will be won,
O LORD, save me from who I was,
A zombie digging up from the grave,
I once was the living dead, a shadow of my enemy,
But Your salvation you freely gave,
Electing me for life,
Your will written long before my days of darkness,
For a glorious day of resurrection,
What does it mean? Does that make You a narcissist?
May it never be!
You have mercy on who you have mercy, and judgment on who you have judgment!
So why me, LORD? Why not everyone but me?
You who were before should see that I am not worth more than them?
But You, O LORD, showed me Your mission, a Great Commission to the ends of the earth,
Now I march from nation to nation,
And they listen in captivation as I tell them about Your salvation,
You, O God, are my refuge and strength,
A very present help in my trouble,
Vindicate me, O God, defend my cause against an ungodly generation,
Be gracious to me, O God, for this society mocks me with lies,
My friends and blood line slaughtered by its messages of degeneration,
Give me the words to speak,
May I snatch them out of the fire,
I yearn to be a friend who risks it all,
For you first gave Your life for me,
May Your enemies be silenced,
No longer may they blasphemy Your holy name,
Shut out their echos from my mind,
Crush their dreams of foolish fame,
Give vision to those stumbling in blindness, may salvation be what they find,
Your Kingdom come, Your will be done!