Side Notes of Insanity

You look back.
And see a world.
A world not worth even imagining; this world has people in it.
People but no places; a world with many repeating faces.

You see people changing,
Learning,
Moving on without you.

So you are compelled to bolt away from tranquility.

Or maybe it is just that chaos found you whether you imagine it or not, it is there.

Circles.
Voices.
Feeling.
Secrets.
Imagine.

Imagine my world.

Laying in bed at night.
Don’t leave me to myself because that is when I get to thinking.

Thoughts running,
Running.
Maybe that is what I am chasing.
Running down a thought that you cannot yet put into words,

Chasing away a memory,
A reality,
A mistake.
I’m going back to the start.

Side notes of insanity.

Look in the mirror.
Do you go crazy?
For along time you can’t take the person starting back at you.

Vivid.
Vivid what?

Dreams.
Day dreams.

Lose yourself.
Find yourself.
See the beauty.
See the fears.
The world isn’t bad.

There is the girl.
The girl with many faces,
Many dreams,
Many stories.

What makes something beautiful?

Glimpses of heaven.
Someone told me that is what beauty is.

Not necessarily on a person but in the world.
Somehow different.

Imagine.
Happiness.
Happiness.

Back to my world.

A world seen almost through two sets of eyes.

Remember.
Remember everything.
Don’t put it on paper.

Do you trust me?
Don’t worry.
Don’t worry.

Why run.

That’s not a question.
That’s a statement.

Why hide.
Why doesn’t she trust me?

How have I ever hurt you?
When have I lied to you?
Protected.

Run.
Run.
Run where?

Don’t face the future.
Your ready.

You’re an idiot.

Speak the truth.

Fight for it;
It’s not OK to say that.

Your never leaving here.
Watch me fall into insanity.

Too late been there.
I’m not insane.

I just really like the word.
Something poetic about it.

What if you knew?
What is there to know?

What is my life?

Let me think.

Let me think.

Make a wish,
Take a chance.

Make a memory,
Do it right.

Are you happy.
Yes.

Hope.
Pretty word.

Ready set go.
Find it.

Chase it.
Go.

My life.

There is the past.
That is the past, how did you make it into my fears?

Name a fear?
No.
No thanks.

Where is my past, the past I want to keep?

The one with the friends.
The friends that need to listen.
The one’s that have finally opened their eyes.

You ready to listen?

What do you do?
What do you do when you lose what you worked hard to find?

The people you just fit in with; and came to the realization that you don’t.

Show me some memories.
What do you say when you realize you have no one?

What’s it like to hit a low point.

What is it like when they say your just a kid?

Are you saying it is going to get worse?

Pick yourself up don’t blame the world.

Smiles.
Faces.
Faces.
Faces with names.

Grateful.
Gratefulness when it could be worse.

Listen.
I’m good at that.

You listen.
Stop me.
Not you.

Run.
Run.
Running races.

I’m missing you.
The girl who made me something.
Who cared.
Cares?

Are you the girl?
Are you the girl I held?
Are you the girl who I held while she cried?

You cried about the mistakes while I think,
“This just doesn’t happen to people. Not us.”

Are you OK?
Are you starving yourself?
Are you loading on the make up that makes you look beautiful?
I know your secrets.

Your smile says “Oh look it’s you.”
Your eyes; fear.
I know your deepest fears; darkest secrets.

I return your fake smile with love.
Love and sympathy.
I’ll always be here for you.

How could I not?

Secrets.
I know yours.
I could give a secret for almost everyone I know for more than a month.

Why?

Listen.

I listen.

Who knows my secrets?
Who knows?

This is all just;
Side notes of insanity.