I feel like
I am losing
Myself,
And time.
It is slipping
Through my fingers
Like water down a
Drain,
Like sand
In a timer,
Incapable
Of controlling itself.
I can’t even
Control
My eyes,
They see what they
Want to see
Or
My brain,
It thinks what it wants
To think,
What it wants to know.
I can’t even control
My breathing.
I feel as if
My lungs might
Collapse
At any given moment.
I feel like I am
Forgetting
Everything
That helps me breathe
Clearly,
That helps me see,
The truth,
And that helps me think,
The knowledge I am thirsty for.
But,
I know that I can never
Have this,
Seeing as my brain,
My heart,
My lungs,
Refuse to let me,
Refuse to let me live.
My brain,
It is messed up
To the point
Of forgetting
How to spell,
How to breathe,
How to think clearly.
It scares me,
Makes me think
I am going to die.