Shared Sentiments | Teen Ink

Shared Sentiments

February 26, 2018
By Understandable_Upchuck SILVER, Maryville, Tennessee
Understandable_Upchuck SILVER, Maryville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Roses are red, <br /> Violets are blue<br /> I was an accident <br /> and so were you.&quot;


12 AM.
Fingers sift through a shoebox brimming with pastimes
Brimming with sketches
Brimming with notes
Brimming with the endeavors of adolescence
A photo resurfaces
You leaning your head upon my shoulder
On my thirteenth birthday
My pale complexion complemented your ebony skin

1 AM.
Your irked me in that moment
But presently I would
dispose of my future 
For the simplicity of a past
With you
I know you’d ask
why I’ve confined myself
To such a hyperbolic statement
But I never recognized
The quantities in which
you uplifted me
So I’ll reveal to you
Our shared sentiments

2 AM.
guffawing at the local Kroger
Under a veil of stars
Tossing the soggy school-provided
tater tots
Into each other’s gaping mouths
And catching your
Sideways glances
During health class
Encouraging me during
my first volleyball match
Even though I was
visibly trembling
And bluntly stating I was the
most awkward human being
In the northern hemisphere
Or when I replied by declaring
that you resembled
Turk from Tarzan
I deserved the inevitable
kick in the shin
We’d spend the day engrossed
in a heated
fervor of Literature
cringeworthy bands
And your graceless
Crush on a
30 year old teacher
Despite our differed physiques
and our differed upbringings
My pale complexion still complimented your ebony skin

3 AM.
You won’t admit to the time I found you in the breezeway
With tears trickling into your fists
You wouldn’t speak
So I sank beside you and slung my arm
Around your quivering shoulders
And was silent as society strolled by
“He hit me again.”
Were the only words you had to utter
And I shifted a bit closer

4 AM.
I was too disoriented to shed a tear
When I told you I was
Transferring across town
To a quieter city
Where everyone is constrained
By labels
You observed as I
distanced myself
You irked me in those moments
When you’d ask what I was
Thinking about
But presently i’d forsake
The certainty of the suburbs
To hear it again

5 AM
The last time I saw you
You grimaced at me
With grief
Already searing your eyes
You threw your arms
Around my shoulders
And I weakly returned
The embrace
Then you turned and trudged
To your doorstep
The whitewashed walls
Of your apartment
Complimented your ebony skin

6 AM
I let 4 months slip
Away aimlessly
Before I was told
About the ambulance lights
Flashing on the
Whitewashed walls
I dropped the phone
Let it shatter
As snippets of
Meaningless sound
Traveled to me
“...Really Worried…”
“...Cuts were deep…”
“...Screams were awful…”
I went another 2 months
Without knowing
Whether you were
Alive
Or
Dead.

7 AM
Do you know
That 9 months
Have passed
And I can’t count
A day Where
I haven’t
Thought about you
Do you know
That I spend
Sleepless nights
Reminiscing
On the
Sentiments
We shared
Do you know
That I prefer
Your company
To the company
Of this entire town’s
Taciturn population
Do you know
That I knocked
On your apartment
Door
And was turned
Away with only
Your mother’s
Sympathetic
Grin
And two words
“She’s gone.”


The author's comments:

This poem was inspired by the truest of stories that I can possiby tell. I miss her even to this day. I hope people will get a glimpse inside the youthful, vivacious girl that could've changed lives if she hadn't given up so soon. I'm so grateful I had the priviledge of knowing her.


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on Jun. 27 2018 at 5:25 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

This poem... Left me speechless. Like thoughts as they race, you capture the fragmented memories, the sentiments, of something that haunts and hurts you deeply. I can feel the blank look you wear as the memories surface, and feel an ebb and flow of anger, sadness, nostalgia, and grief as it slips from dissociation... It is an amazing poem worth so much more than I could ever relay to you. As someone who struggled immensely with suicide attempts and self harm, I would like to say thank you for writing this piece. I read things such as this to remind myself that there is always a reason, always someone, to hold out for. I know death is hard on its own, and suicide even more heartbreaking. You have painted such a beautiful, tragic picture for your friend, and I am certain it means something to her. I hope your pain lessens soon, and her memory will be filled with the bright days you shared, a reminder of a friend who departed early,