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Beauty is Night
October 28, 2011
Nightly in your eyes the dark moon doth shine,
Stealing beauty from the stars, thou art mine.
Who on earth or in heaven may compare,
To the boundless beauty of one so fair?
By the morning when gold sun must awake,
One must ponder daytime’s cruel mistake.
To steal away such beauty for hours more,
Is a heinous crime which I must abhor.
As the moons fine beauty fades from thine eyes,
All those in heaven raise their sorrowed cries.
Who but cruel Dawn may escape away,
With such fine moments I so wish could stay?
Now again we must await nights fair fall,
Bid bye suns mockery once and for all.
© Gabrielle C., Struthers, OH
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
Scott_Jackson GOLD said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 9:33 am
ThankS! I read some of your work as well, you're really good! any tips you can share?
apoetssoul SILVER said...
on Mar. 3 2012 at 8:12 am
Killer, man. Positively killer. If I could offer one suggestion, though, it would be that I don't see very many apostrophes where perhaps they should be.. or is that something that you intentionally do throughout your works? Because of those that I've read, that seems to reoccur. Just curious... Your ideas are solid though, and your language is beautiful. Keep it up!
Beautifully written Scott! It had a great rhythm and displayed a deep emotional sense that is great for writing poetry. As for things to improve on, I would try to use words that more people can understand (ie- abhor, not everyone knows the word, however it did make for a great rhyme!)
Scott_Jackson GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 10:31 am
feel free to comment... tell me things i can improve on!
