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This Storm

June 23, 2014
By HayatC. PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
More by this author
HayatC. PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
25 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

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I tilt my head back and take in the rain,
My thoughts spin in a dizzying gyre.
Its melodic rhythm makes me feel slightly fain,
But deep inside, my mind’s on fire.

Something about the way the droplets fall-
One by one in a staccato pattern-
Puts my thoughts in thrall
To their beauty, lighting up my heart like a lantern.

Yet it all makes me feel a bit nostalgic-
It rained many times throughout my life-
And it was just like this, beautiful yet tragic,
But those rains have passed, and so will this strife.

The fire within me is beginning to die out,
It’s flames have become so much smaller.
With every drop, I feel like I want to shout,
And with every crack of lightening, I stand a little taller.

I feel perplexed yet somehow relieved,
Something about this storm is not like the others;
I may have been betrayed and I may have been deceived,
But something about this storm makes me feel so much stronger.

© Christina L., Great Falls, VA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 8 comments.

Adia16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 22 2015 at 12:07 pm
Adia16 GOLD, Nampa, Idaho
16 articles 7 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sing like no one's listening, Dance like no ones watching, Love like you've never been hurt."-Unknown

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This is defiantly my favorite! :) Nice job!
HayatC. PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 22 2015 at 11:51 am
HayatC. PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
25 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

View profile
I followed the "ABAB" rhyme pattern and forced some lines to rhyme as you point out. I really appreciate your commentary and advice ^_^
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Jun. 30 2014 at 1:52 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

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I really like the imagery and comparisons you used here! Keep it up!! XD
Miss_Orange SILVER said...
on Jun. 27 2014 at 6:26 pm
Miss_Orange SILVER, Makati, Other
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

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&quot;I&#039;m OK, I&#039;m Fine and I&#039;m alright are the greatest lies people tell each other everyday.&quot; By Me.

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I love this besty! I like how you relate the way it rains to the way life has been for you. it has a good rythym to it as well.  
TheComet PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 27 2014 at 5:37 pm
TheComet PLATINUM, Mostaganem, Other
22 articles 1 photo 439 comments

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&quot;Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret&quot; -Ambrose Bierce<br /> &quot; Be yourself! Everybody else is already taken ;)&quot;<br /> &quot;Don&#039;t go where the path leads you. Go instead where there&#039;s no path and leave a trail ;)&quot;-R.W.Emerson

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Well i think we have this in commun!! Cuz i love the stormls remember Raindy day! i feel stronger and especially FREE. Still great job darling
spiritwriter GOLD said...
on Jun. 25 2014 at 1:59 pm
spiritwriter GOLD, Hicksville, New York
12 articles 0 photos 23 comments

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Really verbose, it feels forced. Try writing without thinking, and developing a stream of consciousness before you do your poems. It flows more easily.
Ghoshy said...
on Jun. 25 2014 at 11:31 am
Ghoshy, Allentown, Pennsylvania
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Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.<br /> -Pele

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I dont know why but I really like this line: Its melodic rhythm makes me feel slightly fain, But deep inside, my mind’s on fire. Good job though. It sounds great.
wjdhbjD SILVER said...
on Jun. 25 2014 at 11:09 am
wjdhbjD SILVER, None, Other
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments

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&quot;Let your smile change the world, but don&#039;t let the world change your smile.&quot;

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This is sooo good. love it!!! :)