Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .

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This article has 890 comments.

Inkfan SILVER said...
on Oct. 17 2011 at 8:58 pm
Inkfan SILVER, Memphis, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is irrelevant, because time is just a measurement!

That's exactly what I was about to post.  

It's like the singers and song-writers who get awards every years...GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!  

It isn't even that great!

on Oct. 16 2011 at 9:21 pm
Miki-chan BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't screw with Crazy.

Why are you being so rude? I thought it was rather good, to say the least.

jpbooker said...
on Oct. 15 2011 at 9:27 am
jpbooker, Hoover, Alabama
0 articles 5 photos 37 comments

ok this is a great and interesting story but it has become like angry birds what i mean by that is it has been number one for a year or more now and its getting rediculous. 


on Oct. 15 2011 at 12:33 am
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

And how in the name of Jesus did this get published in the magazine!?!

on Oct. 15 2011 at 12:32 am
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

Stories arn't limited, unless they're freaking huge. And even then if the story is well done the chance of it being 'gulp' abridged is highly unlikely.

on Oct. 15 2011 at 12:29 am
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

I honestly thought the story would be better if she was a stalker and even better if she was a monster in disguise.

on Oct. 15 2011 at 12:26 am
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

lol, double post.. :D

on Oct. 15 2011 at 12:25 am
Victor_Hagar SILVER, Dublin, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always important to give your arguments impact." Fallout 3, Strength Bobble-head.

Woah, this sucked. I don't want to get you down, but are you thirteen, and experiencing a minor hormonal imbalance? This felt like a slew of unorganized ideas shat into an open jaw of generic spread. This may be the most commented story in the fiction section but it is certainly not the best. Don't be discouraged though. Reorder your thoughts; pick a topic that's easier to start with; focus on how people truly act and react; and build a plot that lasts longer than 2,400 words. Limiting something like this to under that and trying to explain all your ideas is foolish. Grow, expand, explode.
Plus, I'm no expert, and I've only got a fraction of the views you do, so you must be doing somthing right....
....or wrong.

on Oct. 9 2011 at 7:27 pm
derickinc BRONZE, Rockford, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I hate all of you." - Squidward Tentacles

Sorry, but the ending kind of ruined it for me. You describe this boy as shy and awkward, then he confronts Jade--a stranger. It doesn't fit. The witch-thing came out of nowhere and doesn't fit "opulence." I think you should rewrite the ending, because everything else was amazing. Try to reinvent O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. This was a good idea.

on Oct. 9 2011 at 6:10 pm
prettylittlewriter BRONZE, Villa Park, California
2 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
These violent delights have violent ends.

You really know how to write! Hope you continue.

on Oct. 5 2011 at 2:53 pm

I really enjoyed the entire suspence-like theme to the story.  It had an effect like we were learning about a mystery organization and learning about a part, in the form of a member, of O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. as well.  Very well tied together in the mystery aspect, but there were some things that I didn't like as well.

As for the two things I didn't like; 1) What does O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. stand for?  When speaking about a secret organization, it is important to be vague, but not too vague.  This is one of the situations where further explanation was required and it was not provided.

2)  I did not like the whole witch thing at the end.  I'm sorry, but it just killed the entire story for me.  This ties back into the too vague thing again.  If magical-witch stuff was the origional purpose of this story, hints would, in my opinion, would be a must to make this the mysterious, climatic end to this story.

Overall, it was a fantastic read, but the end was not my cup of tea.  Keep writing and I look forward to reading your next published work. :)

on Oct. 4 2011 at 8:08 pm
ZookTheGnome SILVER, Zanesville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.
~ James A. Froude

Very interesting storyline. Reminds me of a mix of Harry Potter and the Dresden Files. Might have to show my sister this. She has a liking for the modern wizard sort of stories.

Hope to hear more soon!

L.A.colors said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 7:18 pm
im very sorry to say that while this peice has a good reputation, i hav to give my opinion.....the sun and the moon are too over used differences so when you use them as agencies i think it take away from the story....and i would add a bit more detail....i would rather be shown a story not told it....other than that your story as it is developing now is good dont hold any ill will against me.....this is just helpful critism from another viewpoint

on Oct. 4 2011 at 7:13 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Oh NOW it makes sense. You have no idea how creeped out I was at the beginning! I was thinking "Is this some crazy ex girlfriend who just can't let go? What the? Stalker!"


But now, it all makes sense. :) Great story. I give you, my child... a 5/5!


I was wondering... since you seem like a skilled writer... if you could check out my story Innocence? Maybe read and review? :)

on Oct. 4 2011 at 5:58 pm
averagexauthor, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Excuses are monuments of nothing"
-Nate Singleton

Amazing(: It's very original, and well-written.! Luv This.!<3

ArdRi SILVER said...
on Oct. 3 2011 at 8:43 pm
ArdRi SILVER, Kannapolis, North Carolina
5 articles 7 photos 2 comments
This is amazing :DDD

on Oct. 1 2011 at 5:28 pm
Socsisshea BRONZE, Mooresville, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

I REALLY like this. I mean I REALLY REALLY like this :). I'm new here could you maybe check out my stories?

Acike BRONZE said...
on Sep. 29 2011 at 6:13 pm
Acike BRONZE, Walnut Creek, California
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Can't spell demon without 'emo'.

this is REALLY good.

please write the story.

i will DEFINITELY read it

lexie lue:) said...
on Sep. 22 2011 at 12:49 pm
Great choice of words...if I ever find this book i will definatly read it!!

on Sep. 16 2011 at 11:29 pm
This is a very nice peice. I like the way you portrayed her as such a calm person. You used the correct amount of information at the correct time.