Sandy stepped outside into the fresh spring air. Her floral-printed bonnet, matching booties, and stylish pink sunglasses blended in with the colorful array of flowers outside of her quaint little college. Her head spun around 360 degrees as she took in all the beautiful scenery surrounding her. She let out a sigh of content as she surveyed her garden, with its newly planted daisies, daffodils, and sweet peas. Sandy seldom got her paws dirty, but the promise of sweet-smelling blooms that would attract butterflies and honeybees to her garden was well worth the sweat and toil. Sandy reached into her wicker basket and took out the list of groceries she needed for her strictly vegetarian diet. (Sandy had recently become a vegetarian after a gruesome and shameful incident involving a litter of baby possums.) "Hmmm... I'll need some eggs, cheese, and milk", Sandy mumbled. She had enough money to pay for all of her groceries, and mabye an extra treat or two. After all, it was a long walk to the farm, and she was sure to build up an appetite. Sandy began trotting briskly down the dirt path, basket in paw. She stopped only twice, once to pick some wild strawberries and once to tie her shoelace. After about half an hour of steady trotting and snacking, she arrived at the farm. An old wooden sign at the front gate read in peeling white letters: WELCOME TO CANDY APPLE ACRES! The farm stretched across 300 acres of land in a patchwork of green grass and white picket fences. Young horses galloped freely on long spindly legs. Cows snuffled and mooed peacefully. A herd of fluffy white sheep floated through the fields, shifting into patterns like cumulus clouds on a summer day. The peaceful vibe of the farm made Sandy want to do a cartwheel. She did a cartwheel.
A minute later, a cheerful-looking old man came to greet her at the gate. " Howdy, Sandy! I see you're here to get your groceries!"
" Good morning, Farmer Gus! It's a splendid day to be outdoors, isn't it?"

Farmer Gus gazed across his land with pride. "A mighty fine day if I do say so myself, darlin," he agreed, "especially here on my lil' slice of heaven." He patted the old wooden sign affectionately. "But that's enough chitchat. What'll it be today, ma'am?" Sandy took out her list and began reading the items off to Farmer Gus.
"Hmmm...well I have some cheese and milk fresh from this morning! I'll have to get some out of the 'fridgerator. In the meantime, the chickens are just down that way if you wanna pick out some eggs." The old man gestured towards a small coop to the left of his house. "That sounds... lovely", Sandy replied shakily. She hadn't been around chickens much since she had started her diet, and she wasn't sure if she could resist the temptation. She walked towards the henhouse cautiously, hoping that she would have enough willpower not to eat any livestock. She slowly opened the door and instantly felt a rush of excitement. It was filled to the brim with plump, feathery, chickens. Sandy, control yourself, she thought, you've put an end to your savage ways. She started walking towards one of the hens, who cowered in her presence. "Relax, dear, I'm only here to get some eggs. Just a few eggs, that's all..." As she tried to calm down the hens, Sandy realized that she had begun salivating. Suddenly, she could bear it no longer, and she lost all control. Her jaw unhinged and her eyes gleamed with ferocity as she began rapidly swallowing chickens. Beaks scratched and feathers flew as the hens panicked in a swirling cloud of chaos. Sandy ate and ate until 17 entire chickens sat heavily in her tummy. It was only after this feeding frenzy that she realized what she had done. She sat in shock for a moment until she heard Farmer Gus's footsteps. "Sandy, what kind of cheese would you like? I've got swiss, cheddar...." His voice trailed off as he stood in front of the coop, gazing at the carnage. Sandy turned around and bucked Farmer Gus in the knees. When he fell to the ground, Sandy began to escape, sprinting foward on her hind legs. I'm not fast enough on my own, she thought frantically, he'll eventually catch up with me. She quickly ran to the stables in search of a horse to ride. Unfortunately, the stables were filled with slender young foals, who were probably incapable of holding Sandy's weight. Not wanting to take the chance of hurting another innocent farm animal, Sandy climbed aboard a nearby cow. "GIDDY-UP!" she roared, giving the cow a swift swat to the hindquarters. "Moo!" said the cow, darting foward. Sandy steered the cow towards the woods. At this point, the farmer was not too far behind her. She could hear him yelling, "COME BACK YOU SICK YOUNG CANINE!" Sandy swatted the cow's rump again. To her disappointment, it still remained at just a moderate froonce. She decided that she would have to evade Farmer Gus by veering off the path. She quickly steered the cow into the woods where it clumsily hopped over vines and branches, narrowly missing trees. "Faster!", yelled Sandy, "he's on our tails!" The cow said, "Moo!" and ran into a thornbush. "STUPID COW!" shrieked Sandy. As the cow struggled to pull its hooves out of the bush, Sandy hopped off of its back, pulling brambles out of her tail. "How am I supposed to get you out of those thorns?!" she exclaimed. Suddenly, she heard Farmer Gus's pounding footsteps behind her. Without thinking, Sandy expertly scaled up the nearest tree. Nestled safely on a branch, she watched as the trapped cow finally freed itself from the thorns, only to be carried off by a very large eagle.
Farmer Gus's voice boomed angrily nearby, "YOU ATE MY CHICKENS AND LOST MY FINEST COW! YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I FIND YOU AND I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AND NEVER SELL YOU DAIRY PRODUCTS AGAIN!" The farmer stood dangerously close to the tree where she was hiding. She would have to find a way back home without touching the ground. As she frantically looked around at the other trees, she spotted something yellow stuck in a nearby branch. A kite! she thought excitedly, thank goodness! She quickly removed her shoelaces, tied them together, and wrapped the string around her waist. She then tied it expertly to the kite's frame in a Flemish knot. (It was quite an impressive feat considering her lack of opposable thumbs.) She could only hope that the kite would support her weight with a belly full of chickens. Then again, she didn't have much of a choice. Once she was secure, Sandy leaped from the tree and soared through the sky triumphantly. "DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU ROTTEN CRITTER!" bellowed Farmer Gus as Sandy glided through the air. Sandy giggled joyously, flapping her paws like a bird. After an hour of so of gliding, she arrived safely back at her cottage.
Moral: Carnivores gon' carnivore.