I wish I had never grown up. It’s just too sudden. It feels as if it was only yesterday that when I had no worries. I could look back and have no regrets. I didn’t feel as if I had to satisfy someone for it to be okay to be me. Life is full of responsibilities. Homework. Fights. Grades. Parents. Being a teenager. When I was little the future was so far away I didn’t give a damn about what I wanted to be when I grew up.
“I can think about that later.”
Now, everything is so close. We didn’t even realize the journey we’ve been through, we were just living. The world we knew was lost its innocence. It’s gotten colder. Colder than I could remember. Our eyes have opened. As soon as you grow up, it’s not the same. People around you, wanting to pursuit you to their costumes and turn you into one of them.
Friends. True friends are harder to find. Protecting yourself from the outside world, you wouldn’t want to talk to no one. How can you know for sure someone is not going to destroy you? Who will betray you? When you are a teenager there will be times when you will be surrounded by hundreds of fake friends, they will talk behind your back, they will lie to your face, and they will not truly like you. Not for whom you are. There might even be times when you won’t have any friends at all, but that’s just a step you have to overcome to figure out who will be the ones you are going to grow old with, still laughing at the crazy stuff you did when you were younger. Maybe you will find them when you are way older. It’s never too late to make true friends.
Growing up hurts, it’s full of nostalgia. Remember the old cartoons you used to laugh your butt off, the times when you couldn’t stay up passed nine o’clock. Having that pure untouched mind of your own. The hardest decision was what ice cream flavor you wanted. Why do some people want to run away from their childhood? The silliness and the goofiness. What happened to having a good time playing outside with your friends or siblings? They want to grow up already. They want to get out of school as soon as possible they want to go away to college to be away from their parents. To a new apartment, a new city. Yes, you are alone now. Yes, you can do whatever you want now. Yes, it’s your house, but it’s not the home you grew up in. It’s doesn’t have that warm feeling. You may say that you are glad to be away from you “naggy” parents. One day they will be gone. You are getting older, they are getting older too. You’ll get homesick every now and then. Your mom’s old cooking, playing with your dad outside. Once you grow up, it’s gone.
If only I had a remote control for life. I would go back to the good times, forward the sad times, re-live the awesome times, and pause the moments that are slipping through my fingers. But times won’t stop. Time waits for no one. That’s what memories are for. Sure, some may not be as happy as others, but they are proof that you lived, you had a good time, you cried, and you are human. Memories are with us forever. To teach us. To remind us. To show us, that growing up is part of life. You are born, you grow up, and you die. That’s how’s been. That’s how it will always be.