Unconscious | Teen Ink

Unconscious MAG

August 26, 2008
By Samaiya SILVER, Medellin, Other
Samaiya SILVER, Medellin, Other
7 articles 0 photos 9 comments

There was a dead girl in front of the library this morning. She was breathing, but she wasn’t alive. Whatever existence she’d had during her few years – I calculated she was around 13 – certainly wasn’t life. She was tossed carelessly on the trash-­littered sidewalk in front of a boarded-up doorway, drugged and utterly unconscious of the world around her. The filth and stench of the city were caked into her skin. She seemed part of the garbage she was ­lying in.

My home in Medellín, Colombia, has a lot of poverty. I’m used to seeing dirty, starving children begging in the streets, unkempt old men sleeping ­under newspapers, and hopeless teen­agers forgetting their pain in glue and needles.

But this … this was different.

The girl’s clothes were pulled high above her chest, ugly testimony to what had been done to her the night before. Person after person walked by. Boys leered. Children gaped and were pulled away by mothers who wrinkled their noses and quickened their pace. Not once did I see a trace of caring.

I knelt down and shook her gently.

She stirred and turned her head to me, and a grimace flashed across her face. I realized she was no child. All concept of age was erased from my mind. Perhaps she was barely a teenager; perhaps she was as old as humanity.

“Señora,” I said softly. A fly alighted on her cracked lips, and I brushed it away. Still she did not wake. I don’t know why I cared. Certainly no one else did. But I couldn’t leave her like that. I couldn’t. I should cover her. I reached out to pull down her shirt but retracted my hand. I had no right to touch her.

I knew what I had to do.

Even as I pulled the sweater over my head, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give my favorite sweater to someone who would just sell it for drugs. I didn’t want to care. But it was too late. Once you open your eyes and see reality, you can’t close them again that easily. And even though I wished I didn’t care, I did. She was a girl, my sister in ­humanity, a person just like me. God have mercy on us both.

I draped the sweater over her. The pulsating noise of the street suddenly quieted. The outside world ceased to exist, and a deafening ­silence enveloped us. Time slowed. The moment seemed eternal. We were the only ones in the universe – just me, the girl, and the dark blue sweater fluttering down in slow motion.

I had the sensation you get when you pull the sheet over the face of a corpse and say, muerto esta. The last fold of cloth settled on the gray cement, and suddenly time was once again going. I heard the rushing cars at my back, felt the burning sun, and smelled the filth. Nothing had changed.

I got up too quickly, nearly losing my balance. I needed to get away.

“La felicito,” an old man, who had apparently been watching me, said in congratulations. “Is it a little girl? So sad, so sad. What a shame.”

“Yeah … I don’t know,” I mumbled, hurrying away, horribly embarrassed that I’d been seen. Supposedly, when you do a good deed, you get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. But all I felt was a deep, aching sadness.

I used to believe those heart-warming stories about how people’s lives were changed by some small act of kindness. If this were one of those ­inspirational stories, years later we’d meet again. She would have risen from her poverty and pain, achieved success, and been converted to some nice religion. I’d be down about something, perhaps thinking that my life was worth nothing. On an impulse I’d step into a church and – voilà! – she’d be there giving her testimony about how she’d lived a totally empty and meaningless existence until her life had been changed by the act of a caring stranger who had covered her with a sweater.

And then I’d get up, with tears in my eyes, and shout, “I am that stranger!” And we’d hug and become best friends and I’d go home completely happy in the knowledge that my life had been good for something after all.

But this isn’t an inspirational story. The real world isn’t that nice. When the girl came out of her stupor, she probably wouldn’t even notice the sweater or wonder where it had come from. She’d use it to get more drugs. That night she would again sell her body and her soul, and the next day she would once more lie on the street with her shame open to the world. And my feeble act of caring would be worth nothing.

I headed down the street and sud­denly, to my disgust, found tears running down my face. I dashed them away, not knowing whether I was crying for that girl, my favorite sweater, or the fact that no one had cared.

I thought of the Jesus I’d been taught about in church. He would have cared, I think, if he’d been there. But he wasn’t there. I wished he were. It hurt.

People at church would tell me that he was there, that he’d cared through me.

I sighed. Maybe. Maybe.

But all the way home, the pain ­remained.



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This article has 482 comments.


princesspink said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 2:50 pm
princesspink, Kansas, Kansas
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Trying to be poetic never works. That's like trying to be in the mood for potatoes." - Ernest Hemingway

Wow, I make annoying spelling mistakes every time I type confusing the word "new" with "knew" and so on and so forth but your comment my dear is sheer disrespect seeing how you obviously didn't  take the time to read over your critique before you posted it. If one is going to disagree with another's work so aptly one's typing and grammar skills should be of the utmost perfection.

princesspink said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 2:46 pm
princesspink, Kansas, Kansas
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Trying to be poetic never works. That's like trying to be in the mood for potatoes." - Ernest Hemingway

Wow! Your story is so beautiful I can only read so much before tears begin to fill my eyes. Keep telling stories the way you do for you have lived through and witnessed much in your writing.

on Jun. 2 2010 at 6:40 pm

wow. i do not believe i have ever been as touched in my life.  your writong has more power and emotion than some pieces of legendary literature i have read.  Keep writing, and never forget to show the true side of things, no matter how hard they might be to say.  god bless you, and may god watch over you forever. ~love you all~

 


on May. 28 2010 at 11:40 am
KelleySchorn SILVER, Fort Worth, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whatever you are be a good one-some president i dont remember which
procrastinaters unite!...tomorrow!!-matt
i'm F-U-L-LLLLL i think i can spellllll-allie =]

wow that was amazing and deep...wow

on May. 21 2010 at 8:27 pm
Shannon727 BRONZE, New York, New York
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
to be honest, i liked this poem because it's amazing how the people in this world are careless. i mean sure drugs are addicting and all, but look where the people end up...i loved this poem it was really deep.

wolfiemoon said...
on May. 21 2010 at 5:43 pm
Amazing words. From both of you. Kindness always lingers, no matter where you are. It's just hidden under the world's sorrow.

on May. 20 2010 at 9:40 pm
Spiritless BRONZE, Corry, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
" I'm selfish, impatient, a little insecure but if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" ---Marilyn Monroe

It is all true you can't change reality or a person but you can be thanked and soon awakened by the real world and you'd do better for yourself. This was inspirational! Great and adequate writing.

on May. 20 2010 at 5:32 pm
charlottegirl BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
2 articles 8 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe in pink. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot...I believe that the happiest girls are the prettiest girls." -Audrey Hephburn

I love this article. Very eloquent and blatantly true. I admire your writing!

jakeandamir said...
on May. 18 2010 at 2:57 pm
The world is either in your hands or at your throat.

blues clues said...
on May. 17 2010 at 11:29 pm
this was a really great article..... gets me a little prepared for whats comen when i get bak 2 the states

Emily345 said...
on May. 13 2010 at 7:36 pm
This is simply the best thing I have seen so far on this website.  Wow...  You have quite a gift for transferring emotion.    

on May. 11 2010 at 8:40 am
flipsters BRONZE, Benton Harbor, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not fair, it's how you take the cards that are dealt that matter."
"Everything will work out in the end, if it's not working out then it's not the end yet."
"Don't let the clouds of today hide the sunshine of tomorrow."

I think this is the best short story I have ever read. It is very inspirational, let us not just walk by, but help those knowing that maybe, just maybe we might change their life, as they have changed ours. Our world could change if people just simply cared.

on May. 7 2010 at 7:51 am
LittleWonders SILVER, Batu 9 Cheras, Selangor, Other
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Never be afraid of being different

Wow you're really good, very inspirational... You highlighted the fact, that, the world isn't what it is told in books. It's worse than that. I hope more people will appreciate this piece! God Bless You! 

random said...
on May. 4 2010 at 4:22 pm
this book is boring i think it wasn't that touching.......

on May. 4 2010 at 8:20 am
LOL. Haha, :DD aha

men are hot said...
on May. 4 2010 at 8:19 am
guys are hot

on May. 4 2010 at 8:17 am
I suppose. Very tasty though hagaga :P :D

on May. 4 2010 at 8:14 am
sandwiches are mean

on May. 4 2010 at 8:10 am
This is a good poem. Keep on Writing! :D COOL STORY BRO!

on May. 3 2010 at 8:12 pm
AllYourBase BRONZE, Austin, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

...Huh?

if ur saying me... XP THX LOL!!! =]=]=]