In Greek my name means shining light. In Hebrew it means brightness or ornament. It is like the number zero. Simple. A yellow glow in a field of purple sage. It is sweet and innocent like a little girl dancing in a pink dress.

My name is not “Ellie”, “Eli”, “Elizabeth”, or even “Eleanor”. My mom said it’s spelled the “German way”- just “Elli”. It is like a pink ladybug in a group of red ones- a little out of the ordinary. It is like Vogue magazine: clean-cut, classy, and fashionable.

The name is deceiving, however.  A little white lie. Like the sun, an “Elli” appears friendly and pure from a distance. However, if you end up getting close, you find that “Elli” is not what she looks like. Behind her sweet name and appearance you would find a burning ball of energy. A gigantic, burning, wildly exploding, crazy ball of energy.

“Elli” sounds weak, shy, and young. Like a freshman roaming the halls of high school on the first week. Like Bambi standing on his legs for the first time. He falls. He falls again. He makes many mistakes. Although through his experiences he finds tragedy, he also grows and finds the beauty in life, as well as confidence.

In my middle school years I was also like the Young Bambi. Unsure of myself. Stumbling. Not sure how to process new feelings. Now almost at adulthood, just like adult Bambi, I can finally stand on my own. Even though to the world an “Elli” may seem likes she's still a child, she’s not. She's a woman.

When I was younger I wanted my name to be “Ellie” instead. That was how the other girls spelled it and I thought the “E”’s on both ends made it more symmetrical. Others could go by many names. They could go be Elizabeth, Lizzie, or even Beth. I, however, was just Elli.

Over time, the name grew on me. I learned the beauty of simplicity. Simple like a summer night. Simple like folded laundry. Simple like a homemade pie. I like the name Elli. Yes. Elli will do.