While warming up and rehearsing the dance, I saw the varsity coaches walk into the room. Feeling the tension increase, I presented myself the best I could. I felt intimidated by their judging glares. Sitting down, they started watching my team members and I practicing our dance before our big performance. There were only three competitions left of the year and I was really hoping to make varsity for next season. The coaches were whispering and looking in my direction so immediately I tried to look my best to impress them.

Continuing to work on my skills and getting ready for my upcoming performance I could still feel their eyes on my back. I headed back to our JV room and started getting my dance costume on. I continued getting ready by pulling my hair into a slicked-back bun with sticky gel and lots of hairspray. Foundation and powder cover all of my insecurities on my face as I finally feel ready to be in front of the crowd. Suddenly the varsity coaches walk into the JV room and ask to speak with me. Of course, I followed them, curious about what they were going to say.

They lead me to a secluded hallway and got extremely serious. There was a long pause before they said anything. It felt like a century had gone my before any words had come out of their mouth. They told me “ If you don’t straighten your kicks while you perform and practice, you will never make varsity.” After that sentence was said I couldn’t listen to anything else. My mind wouldn’t process any more information. Making varsity Dance Team was one goal that I had been working towards my whole entire life. That statement really was a punch in the gut. All of my hard work for the past 13 years felt like it had been for nothing. My confidence in myself had dropped to an all-time low that day. The worst part was I still has to go and perform after this.

I got back to the JV room and broke down crying. I didn’t want to dance anymore, even though it was my favorite thing to do. All of my teammates tried to cheer me up but nothing could make my confidence grow back to the way it was. I stepped into the gym getting ready to perform for everyone in the seats. I tried to have fun but that seemed impossible. My heart just wasn’t into it anymore.

My mom was the first person to notice something was wrong. I usually presented myself beautifully when I danced but that day I was just a timid little 8th grader that looked like she didn’t deserve to be in formation. I told my mom about what happened and she said the most encouraging words that I had ever known, “Prove them wrong.” Those three little words opened up my eyes again. I decided that I wasn’t going to let the varsity coaches hurtful words tear me down. I wasn’t going to let them tell me who I am, only I can decide that.

At JV practice the next day I worked the hardest I had ever in my life. I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me from reaching my dream. I asked my JV coaches for exercises that would help fix my problem. Not only was I just working in our daily 3 hour practices, but I was also going home and practicing more to make sure I got the results I wanted. After the season was done I didn’t stop working. I kept practicing and practicing and finally, I got to the point where I felt confident with myself again.

Soon enough tryouts came for the next season. I was more than ready for it. With my black silky leotard and tan tights, my white tryout number stuck out like a sore thumb. I saw the same varsity coaches with their same judging glares but this time I wasn’t trying to impress them, I was trying to impress myself. I had worked so hard for this moment and hopefully, it would all pay off. I was still working towards my dream of being a varsity dancer but even if I didn’t reach my goal I knew in my heart that I had tried the hardest I could. Nothing could stop me now.

All of my hard work did end up paying off in the end. This year I made varsity in both High kick and Jazz. My team and I went to state for both of our routines. I got to know the varsity coaches a bit better and they aren’t nearly as bad as I thought they were. The coaches telling me that I would never make varsity may have been a blessing in disguise. If it wasn’t for that world crumbling moment, I wouldn’t have tried as hard as I did. I might not have gotten the results I wanted. I know my coaches helped me get to where I am today but I think the biggest reason I am here is that I believed in myself and never gave up.