It was a sunny and cold morning at Stevens T. Mason Elementary School in Grosse Pointe Woods Michigan. I had just finished reading a World War ll nonfiction book for my reading log that morning so I wouldn't have a late grade. I walked to meet my friends on the blacktop in the playground to play with toy planes and cars. Me and my friend Zach would play a game called nearest to the car which is when you throw a paper airplane at the car from a few feet away and whoever comes closest wins. We both made airplane sounds as we made our passes by the truck. Wooooosh. Direct hit! Just as that happened the whistle blew and we dropped everything where and ran inside to start the day. 

While sitting in class I thought about how cool flying planes were and I was fascinated by how fast they traveled. I wanted to be a pilot when I became old enough so bad I started to talk and act like one. Here and there I would speak to my friends or family by saying “Roger that” or “You have clearance for take-off” as my parents would ask me if there were any cars coming while pulling out of the driveway. However,  I felt embarrassed sometimes because my other friends would mimic me or say that being closest to the car was a stupid and easy game. I would act like I didn’t care but I really did. It hurt deep down because I loved what I did and it is something that made me excited to get out of bed every day. 

The one thing that I really loved about pilots was the cool tinted sunglasses that they wore. I thought they were so badass and I could basically rule the world if I had a pair of those. Every time I went grocery shopping I would beg my mom if I could get a pair of sunglasses on the rack that looked like the pilot ones. Those sunglasses were the only thing on my mind 24/7. 

As I walked out of the school to find my mom in the pickup line I overheard some of my other friends talking about the new Oakley sunglasses that had just been released. “Maybe if I got a pair of those they would stop bothering me about me wanting to be a pilot. Finally, I could fit in” 

The minivan door slid open and my mother greeted me with a big wet kiss on the cheek and a usual “Hey sweetie how was your day?” I responded with the classic dry answer of “Good” as we pulled away. She had a big smile on her face for some reason and I had to ask why she was smiling like that.

 “Is there something on my face?” I said. As that rolled off my tongue she reached down into her purse and grabbed THE COOLEST PAIR OF SUNGLASSES I HAD EVER SEEN! The emotions I had running through my head were immaculate. It felt like the pent-up water being let out of the floodgates on a dry day. I started to have flashbacks of Tom Cruise in Top Gun and all of the cool stereotypical movie fighter pilots I had seen. Suddenly, I had this weird emotion that I had never felt before. It felt as if someone stuck a spigot into me a drained my wants and desires from my body. I remembered the conversation that I had overheard walking to the car about the new Oakleys that my friends were talking about. I told my mom “I don’t want those anymore, I want Oakleys.” After I said that I felt chills sent down my spine because I would die for those pair of sunglasses nine-hundred ninety-nine times out of one thousand, but to be able to fit in with the Oakleys took away my deep passion for those pilot sunglasses. My mom looked at me as if she did not even know me. The look on her face was almost foreign to me. Distraught and sadness were painted on her face. She put the glasses back in her purse and I slouched there gazing upon what I just did. On the drive home, my mom said if I really wanted the Oakleys that she would get them for me. Finally, I could fit in… but at what cost?

From that day forward I started to drift further and further from wanting to be a pilot. I stopped playing closest to the car with Zach and started playing on the swings with the other kids. Instead of saying “Roger that” when someone asked me to do something it would be a dull “ok”. Then “You have clearance for take-off” turned into “You’re good from the right and the left.” I was just like the rest of my boring classmates now.

 However, now that I stopped acting like a pilot the other kids gradually stopped making fun of me. I was able to walk on the playground without that worry anymore, but I still thought deep down inside myself about how cool being a pilot would be. Eventually, all of the Tom Cruise inside of me was pushed way down and welded shut forever. I turned the page on the inner pilot inside of me and my passion was like a retired warplane, bound for the scrap yard. Never to be seen again.