Not the End | Teen Ink

Not the End

March 31, 2023
By Anonymous

Take a look at your iPhone. See the width of the device in front of you. Not very wide, right? Now imagine if that phone was about fifteen feet longer, four feet in the air, and you were flipping upside down on it. You may or may not know, but this is just one of the four events that gymnasts compete on, the balance beam. There are also the uneven bars, vault, and floor. I did gymnastics from about three years old to fifteen years old. Out of those twelve years, I competed for about eight or more years. Practice every other day from 5:30 to 9, physical conditioning, and a high-stress scene, took a toll on me. One of the best decisions I have made was quitting this sport. Gymnastics could be so fun sometimes, especially with my team. In fact, the thought of leaving my teammates was probably the biggest reason why I did not want to quit. Gymnastics is an individual sport, so if you mess up, that’s on you. If you fall off a four inch wide beam, four feet in the air, that's on you. Drag your team’s all around score down because you didn’t perform well? You guessed it, also on you. Seems stressful? Well let me tell you, going out to compete in front of judges, as well as your team, other teams, coaches, and observers, is most definitely stressful. It came to a point where I was barely having fun anymore. I was good at the sport, but it was not until after I quit and tried new sports, that I remembered that sports are supposed to be enjoyable. Gymnastics was all I knew and I am so glad it was a part of my life, but I am also so glad that I moved on. Part of why it was such a hard decision to make is because of how attached I get to aspects of my life. Not in an unhealthy way, but when something becomes a part of my life, I find satisfaction in the stability of that thing always being there. Gymnastics was always a part of my life; I didn't know what a life without it would be like. I was worried that if I quit I would have nothing to do. I was worried that people would see me as a quitter. I became comfortable with a consistent schedule, so it was scary to think that my days would start to look a lot different. Similar to how I find comfort in a familiar and consistent schedule, I find comfort in the attachment of people I'm close with. I have a lot of friends from different groups, but I remain closest with the people I have been with for years. I love having my best friends to go to that know everything about me, knowing they will always be there. An issue with this attachment is the aftermath of drifting apart from a close friend. It's extremely hard going from being a huge part of someone's life to barely at all, just like letting go of a sport or anything that was consistent in your life. After I quit gymnastics, it felt like a part of me was missing, but this was just because I needed time to adjust to my new schedule. I pour all my love and passion into things and people, and when these things are taken away, I feel empty. It is easy to let this emptiness consume me at first, but what I often fail to remember is that there is so much out there that makes me happy. "You can't rely on anything else for your happiness,” my mom has told me. Despite my tendency to get attached, I have become aware that I need to be secure on my own and not have to rely on a person, sport, or object for my happiness. People will leave. Athleticism doesn't last. Objects come and go. No matter what you lose or what you leave behind, you always have yourself to count on. You don't need anything else to be content in life. After gymnastics became absent from my life, a more enjoyable sport entered my life. I've grown apart from many friends, but I've also gained and grown closer to more. Although I still struggle a lot, I've realized that an end to something or an end to a relationship, does not mean it is literally the end. It is the beginning of a new point in your life. And without a doubt, it's okay to have many beginnings.


The author's comments:

This piece is personal to me.


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