Some say confidence is the way to your life's goals, but how could I ever be confident when I thought I would never win.

 I felt as though I tried one-million times to prove myself worthy.  The day I gained confidence in diving, was a day I thought would never come to me. A backstory, I have been a competitive diver for three years, and this meet was highly significant to my journey in dive. This meet was a few months ago in September. I was on my way to a dive invitational in Milford, Michigan, and I had no intention of winning or even placing but I was there for my team and for my parents.  I walked in with my Clarkston bathing suit and start my warm ups. Which didn't seem to go well since I never really tried, since they were just warm ups. They were shaky. It was obvious I felt scared, overwhelmed and fearful of the meet ahead. My lines aren't straight, yet I persevered.   

“Ellie’ are you doing okay?” my coach says in the most worrisome way. 

“Yes, I'm okay, just nervous,” I said with a quiver in my voice. The fear rushed within. I thought about every possible scenario that would make me fail. 

I love my coach, she always knew when I was upset but always made sure I did my very best. Her name is Jen, she is a retired diver and knew exactly what she was doing. I give her all the credit for my skills. If I was ever scared, she always knew how to make me comfortable. She is my favorite coach, almost like a family. 

An hour later the meet finally started, and if you don't know how diving works, which most people don't, There are anywhere from 20-40 divers. The room was so full, yet that didn't seem to add to the pressure, the idea of me failing was. Continuing on, everyone does a minimum of 6 dives but some do 11 depending on your skill-set. For this meet I only was doing 6 so I could score well, because like the quote “less is more” says, the less dives you do, the higher you could score. The first few were particularly  good and I got an excellent score, but towards the end I received very low scores thus accepting my fate and knew I wouldn't place. I wish I could say I was brave, that I knew exactly what I was doing, but if I did this story wouldn't exist. The way to excellence is to face what you feared and understand what needs to be done in order to achieve greatness. 

Later  on, a few hours later after all the divers got done, we all headed into the locker rooms to get changed. I knew sooner or later that they would call the top 8 to collect medals. So I was ready to leave, but as I swung open the door I heard my name being called. I could feel the eyes of my competitors dart at me, In some ways it felt good. 

 “Ellie Delude please come get your medal for placing top 8 for invitational”. 

 What? Is this a mistake? 

All I could think about is “Why me? Out of 40 other girls, how did I happen to place in the top 8?”

  But I did it, I collected my medal and walked out with a smile on my face, ready to show my family what I have accomplished. As I exit the building I see the glowing smile reflecting off my mom’s face. This was the face of a proud mom, I've seen it before, yet  I never thought it would be for diving. I showed her the medal. 

“You did amazing, sweetie.” She exclaims as her smile grows unconditionally. 

I believed her. I never thought I'd believe her, but the day has come. The day I faced my fears in order to achieve the greatest accomplishment. I was proud, proud of myself, proud that I gave my all in order to win. I will forever be grateful for this journey, the day I gained my confidence. Which ultimately heightening my confidence in my life. Truly I believe that it was never about winning that made me happy, it was the overwhelming amount of joy and pride I had in myself. Sure, winning was nice, but winning will never be worth anything without a story, a lesson, and an experience.