1/25/09
Cliques

Cliques; not whistles, not a birds song or the sound you get when you clack your tongue, just cliques. These “cliques” live in your school, your community, and your clubs. They’re everywhere. Everyone is a part of one, or wants to be. Some people are lucky enough not to be in one, so you’d think. I mean really, why do we care about what other people think? You tell me, you’re the one that cares. No need to worry, you’re not alone. Look at everyone around you. It’s human nature. Everyone has a natural need to be accepted. This is how cliques are formed. Although cliques may seem innocent, they tend to do more harm than good.

Jocks vs. Nerds. Prep vs. Gothic. City slickers vs. Hicks. Now those are some typical cliques. Honestly, you see them everywhere. They flock together like birds, or little children afraid of being left behind. Cliques differ depending on your location and environment. Different schools = Different cliques.

So what is the definition of a clique? Well, according Dictionary.com, the definition of a clique is: Clique [kleek, klik,]. Noun. A small, exclusive group of people. It is a group of people who share something in common. It describes who you are. It’s you and your friends and how you’re labeled.
Cliques and popular tend to go hand-in-hand. The definition of popular is: Popular [pop-yuh-ler]. Adjective. Regarded with favor, approval, or affection by people in general. Popularity can make a child feel secure, needed or wanted, and involved. Some kids just want to feel like they belong.

People in cliques are naturally drawn together because they share similar interests. The people in these groups feel they have a place where they are welcome and supported, and where they can be themselves. Being part of a group can help people develop relationship skills, feel close to others, get and give support, share ideas, discover what's important to them, and have fun. (New)


Sadly, there seem to be more disadvantages of a clique than advantages. Occasionally, a clique will bring up a person’s self-esteem, but will destroy other individuals’ in the process. Sometimes, in extreme cases, cliques are formed to keep certain kids out. This can damage a child or teen’s self-esteem if they aren’t accepted. It may affect their self-image, or the way they think about themselves. Cliques can be destructive, exclusive, and hurtful. They make kids feel alone, insecure, and not wanted.

The individuals within the clique feel as though they must always be competing for a spot in the group. They are constantly worrying about being humiliated or kicked out of the clique. The friends are fake and are only concerned about where they stand in the group. Some people will jump through fiery hoops to make a good impression on the “clique leader”. This puts a lot of pressure and stress on teens. Showing off, making fun of others, playing a certain sport, dating certain people, or not doing homework can all be affects of clique influences. All of these influences can have long-term effects on you and the people around you!

Cliques are tight groups that usually have a strict code of membership and ways to act. Some cliques seem much more restricted. People in these groups make it clear that not just anyone can be part of their crowd. Instead of being centered on shared values and beliefs, many cliques tend to focus on maintaining their status and popularity. For instance, a certain clique may try to make it seem like the people in the clique are "better" than those outside, or that their clique is higher status than another clique. (New)


If you find yourself stuck within a clique or trying to get in one, take a step back and ask yourself, is it really worth wasting your time trying to impress someone else who doesn’t want to accept you for who you really are? Is it that big of a deal to go to THAT party, or THAT game? No, it’s really not worth worrying about. There will be plenty more. Besides, real friends will accept you for who you are and cherish you for that. Hang out with the people who are your true friends. Spend time with people who like you, you like, and make you feel good about being yourself! Find someone you can talk to and confine in, someone you can trust. But remember, leave your options open and hangout with a bunch of different people and get to know them as well.
Cliques cause teens to be selective in their friendships. These individuals tend to flock with a specific group rather than getting to know some of the other fantastic and unique people around them. It’s similar to the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” The same goes for us; if you judge someone by their looks or the clique they’re in you’re going to miss out on a lot of great people in your life. So get out there, out of your clique, and meet some new people! As they say, “Strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet!”