The green dot. He’s there, I know he is. He knows I’m here, but will he talk? Are we both on our computers staring at the nagging green dot? Or is it just me being crazy? Everytime we talk and the animation of you typing, I feel the anticipation for what is to come. It goes on… and off. You erased it all, like most messages I try to send you. I am at the desperate point where I so don’t know what to say that I open Word and test out responses. What would make him laugh? smile? cry? I just don’t want you to know how hesitant I am. I seem strong and confident and I want to keep it that way. You’ve seen me though. Me going completely nuts, crying or at least starting to. Later, you ask why, I brush it off saying that I’m unstable, the math test was too hard, just couldn’t keep it in. I lied. I cried because I just couldn’t keep all the pressure inside anymore, I cried my heart out because of my mother, brother, life… You. That annoying green dot, that fills me with hope and rips it all out at once. That dot can do more damage than a hurricane to my seemingly cold heart.