Time stands still as the world around me darkens and spins. Each individual object is blurred into a haze of colours, each colour swirling and swirling around me until everything suddenly turns pitch black.

I lose complete sense of time and direction. I try to swim to the top, yet I don't know where the top is. I need to find the right path that allows me to breathe, and stop drowning in this sea of nothingness.

But I can't find the top. I can't  even try to reach the top, because I don't know which way is up. I can't find up or down, and I can't differentiate between left and right. I am floating in empty space. A black void. And it's chocking me, slowly but steadily killing me.

It weights me down, dragging me deeper and deeper, and each time I sink a little bit, the possibility of returning slims.

That is what I have been living in the past sixteen years.