You know you’re a good soul when you wish others happiness even if you’re not a part of their lives or even if it’s built on your misery.

Well guess am not a good soul.

I’ll wish you pain and uneasiness, if you’re happiness leads to me getting hurt.

Am going to wish that my name, my face, my every detail pops and masters your mind with every laugh you share with someone else. Well only if that will lead to me getting hurt.

I’ll wish you miss me and crave me but know you’ll never have me and... when i come back you take me in with warm arms.

sorry but i once happened to be a good soul but now i guess it's not my thing.

“Writing is a form of escapism” a real wise guy once told me this.
It is.
It’s when you feel left out, unwelcomed anymore.
It’s when that close friend never acknowledges your existence. Like you’re really there and not there, you really don’t matter.

It’s the desperate attempts to have yourself back with that group of friends but it never works out, well... it’s not like you’re not welcomed nah they never said so but it’s just that no one cares if you’re here.. no one give a care to wave a hi or even utters a word through all the 134 minute you spent with’em. Not even the once close friend.

You know how it looks like from a third person perspective? It’s like your light dimmed almost no light anymore and no one makes the slightest effort to bring it back to life, oh wait they did their best to turn it off.

And now let’s turn to the other side of this world where there’s those people: the bullies. Okay they do their best to lower your self confidence you almost have none. Still the first kind have a strong influence on your suffering.

So is writing a form of escapism? Yes it is. When you’re in a world where you’re unaccepted, unacknowledged, unneeded, almost a burden. So you go to the other world where you know it’s a safe place to be yourself where you’re not judged, where you matter. Where you know he exist. Where you know he cares. He... he might be a mirage but still the thought of someone like him is quite comforting in my world, someone not screaming to get out of it, someone that finds comfort in it as much.

It’s our safe zone.