maybe next time | Teen Ink

maybe next time MAG

March 1, 2009
By hillary811 GOLD, Bozeman, Montana
hillary811 GOLD, Bozeman, Montana
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

you’re as sweet as the sugar pan of rio
the words dripped from your mouth
like water from a leaky faucet
i’ve been meaning to fix it
but just haven’t had the time
or so they say.

the look in your eyes
like straight black coffee
no sugar, no cream, no nothing
almost makes me wince the first hot sip
trickling down my throat
still swollen from your kisses.

surviving off a staple diet
of lattes – extra foam
sleep crusted at the corners of my eyes
doesn’t let me forget last night.
not yet.
flannel shirts against my cheek,
tear-stained and puffy,
but when is it not.
sour gummy worms snake through my throat
as slippery as your glances in the hall
dripping with disdain.

you’re too good for me,
you once said to me over a coconut macaroon
and a grande chai,
too hot still.
you told me I didn’t deserve this
damn right I didn’t deserve it.
and here you are now, wondering why I left.
wondering why I turned away when you told me to go.
I didn’t think it was that hard of a concept
to follow words as simple as those.

sleep drifts in and out of the window
like coffee at two in the morning
trying to stay awake, desperate to sort out my thoughts before I can lay my head down
but it doesn’t seem to be working.

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This article has 94 comments.

justlisten said...
on May. 12 2009 at 3:29 am
im going through the same thing. Awesome poem! keep writing!

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on May. 5 2009 at 12:24 am
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

That was remarkably vivid. Your choice of words was really spectacular. I love how you describe the eyes. The coffee analogies hit home, as does the complexity shrouded by the simplicity. Keep writing.

God Bless,


xjuliaxbbyx said...
on May. 4 2009 at 11:33 pm
that was amazing! (:

DoLL_F@C3 said...
on May. 3 2009 at 11:05 pm
DoLL_F@C3, Memphis, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:

this is good

on May. 3 2009 at 5:54 pm
iSing_iWrite_iCreate BRONZE, White Post, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I really love this poem. The language is so rich and tangible, it just feels very real.

on May. 3 2009 at 3:46 am
-xlimitless239x- GOLD, Vanceboro, North Carolina
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments
i think i know what ur talking about. great poem. deep.

keep 'em coming

on May. 1 2009 at 9:18 pm
blingblang4eva ELITE, Fayetteville, Georgia
160 articles 0 photos 105 comments
this is aweosme :() its powering n has great metaphors :) good job.

on Apr. 27 2009 at 8:32 am
Kumanga DIAMOND, Bethel, Alaska
56 articles 0 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Always Accept nd love urself for who u are!

Is pretty good.

Nessa SILVER said...
on Apr. 26 2009 at 12:55 pm
Nessa SILVER, Sugarland, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I think this is beautiful.

on Apr. 25 2009 at 4:40 am
FreakyEyed DIAMOND, Juneau, Alaska
53 articles 29 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This, too, will pass."


Jewels SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2009 at 9:11 pm
Jewels SILVER, Colorado Springs, Colorado
7 articles 2 photos 4 comments
like it, love it, want some more or it! good job and keep writing!

E.Lee GOLD said...
on Apr. 24 2009 at 8:24 pm
E.Lee GOLD, Akron, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 168 comments
this is really very good:)

i really liked it

on Apr. 23 2009 at 9:44 pm
ultrabookworm BRONZE, Equestria, Kentucky
2 articles 0 photos 65 comments
This could teach a lot of us about how to handle boyfriends like that, people that don't really love who you are but what you do for them. But I guess the hurt never goes away. Keep writing- this is inspirational! ;P

on Apr. 22 2009 at 9:22 pm
blackamethyst GOLD, Centerville, Ohio
11 articles 0 photos 132 comments
wow this is amazing. i especially like "damn right i dont deserve it." i'm impressed