I have this dark cloud that follows me. It taps on my shoulder to remind me that it's there. Sometimes it suffocates me and makes me cry. It makes me doubt myself and it makes me hate who I am. It points out all of the things I can't stand about myself. It yells at me, it accuses me. Some times it attacks me for days on end. I don't say anything because I don't feel that I have the right to. I have a loving family, loving friends, I have a full stomach, a beautiful home, everything I need. So who am I to even mention the darkness? I don't. I let it attack me. I let it feed on me. I lay in my bed, and I cry. Some times I wake up and I can feel the happiness again. It fills me up, it carries me. It's kind. Darkness seems to be sleeping. Yet I feel ashamed. Ashamed of what I felt before, when darkness was attacking. I shouldn't have let darkness in, I shouldn't have let it feed on me. Yet every single time it comes back, I let it in. I don't put up the walls, I don't guard myself. I let it in. Some times I pray to God and ask Him why. He answers me by showing me all of the things he blessed me with. Here I am, feeling ashamed again. How disappointed he must be in me! I have days where everything is perfect. No darkness, all happiness. No shame. I guess it all comes down to this. We have good days, we have bad days. The good days outweigh the bad, and if they don't it's up to us to make them. If we can't, we ask for help. I guess darkness isn't always here, light is. Light keeps us going. So when you're at the bottom of that barrel, look up. Think of all the people that love you, that need you. Think of who you're hurting by hurting yourself. You're not just living for you. It's not all up to you. We're all here for a reason, we die when we die for a reason. Embrace the good, shut out the bad. Hope that the darkness starts to fear the light. In the end the only real option we have is to keep on keepin on.